We all have them. Those little or big things, good or bad, which leave indelible marks on our psyche. Scars that remind us of a terrible accident, ugly birth marks, pictures which bring reminders of different experiences, stretch marks from having kids, worry lines, a hole from a tooth that was removed, that awful graft left on your child’s knee where stitches had been… You name it!
Some of us even have physical scars that we’ll have to carry to the grave. But how do we live with them? Do we wince whenever we see them or do we use them as tools of caution to never put ourselves in the same situation? Do we dwell on what we could have done differently or do we accept that it happened and try to move on? Do we forever wish the incident had never occurred or do we smile at the recognition that we are still standing, thankful that we’ve outgrown or overcome them and are better for it today?
“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown
My one year old son has quite a few scars already. “Leave him!” “Let him play!” “Oh he’s a boy,” they said. This somehow was supposed to soften the blow, ease the sharp pain or provide some sort of comfort after he fell, slipped or stumbled. Boy was I one of those parents who abused the privilege of freedom a child so often longs for. After all, I’m the one who had to nurse his wounds and make sure that he was good to go again.
Now at one year, he is already showing independence. When he falls, he gets up, dusts himself off and he goes again. If he happens to get a cut, he’d say “cut mummy,” then I’d wipe it and patch it as best as I could, but as soon as he received that kiss on his wound he’d run off to play again. Just like that, as if the fall had never happened. It’s amazing the lessons this little one teaches me. He has learnt not to dwell or concentrate on his wounds so much so that he cannot enjoy his play time. He has faith enough to know that when mommy kisses it, eventually it’ll get better.
Wounds heal but we must be patient in the journey towards our healing, taking in every lesson that the journey will teach us. As parents we often forget that we are children too. We must let God kiss our wounds and appreciate the space He gives us to grow from them.
I have one particular scar that is worn just above my knee. Interestingly enough, whenever it showed, people were always curious enough to ask about the story behind it. This ugly thing I wanted removed was interesting to others. Though uncomfortable at first, when I first told the story about falling through a glass cabinet at the tender age of four, when noticing the reaction of laughter instead of pity, my discomfort unknowingly disappeared. This reaction continued to happen every time the story was told until eventually, I enjoyed and looked forward to telling the story. Why not? Though I remember what the pain felt like and my mother’s face as she grimaced at the wound, the reality is that it’s gone now and the story of the healed wound brought joy to those who heard.
Then there was the stretch mark phase. “These people lied!” I’d say. No amount of cocoa butter, olive oil or coconut oil was working to erase these dreaded lines that never seemed to bother anyone else but me. But all it took was seeing my son’s little hands rub my “wounds,” his laughter filling my ears, the word ‘mummy’ escaping his mouth and his bright little eyes filled with approval, that drove that depression away. He had become my simple forever, a result of pain that only lasted for a time. The reason for the stretch marks YET the one whom I’ll love regardless. I’d be there to rub his scars like he was to rub mine. I smile now as I say this, “These scars are a product of my love for my son.”
A scar is a product of a wound that has healed. They can be the result of something beautiful.
1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
Christ too had wounds and we, His brothers and sisters, are healed in every area because of them. Again, healed wounds can be beautiful! I am sure that at the time of the incident which caused the scar or scars, your mind couldn’t perceive that they would one day become beautiful or act as beautiful reminders of a particular triumph.For those of you who have not reached that conclusion, note that a beautiful ending awaits you. Let that scar be a reminder of NOT what was, but what you have become because of it.
Moms your scars are beautiful. Your marks are unique. EMBRACE them, ACCEPT them, LEARN from them, GROW because of them and enjoy your “simple forevers".
”Psalm 147:3 He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.
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Reneika Bradshaw Parent Blogger
At 25 years old, Reneika has gained a wealth of experience as she traversed through the harsh ‘jungle of life’ throughout the years. Being a young mother and having to learn how to cope day by day, her journey up until this day, has been a bitter-sweet one. With a love and a passion for seeing people succeed, she has no reservation with using her stories to empower those who need to hear