Can I be honest with you for a second? Writing this piece today fought me to the end primarily because a lot of the content was very real for me at one stage of my life. Walking around with the uncertainty of myself because of misconstrued perceptions of love. Not being sure of myself because of something that was said in or outside of past relationships and the list can go on.
It gets crazy! Everyone has an opinion about you – who you are and where you should be. What kind of life they see you living and who they think you should partner with. Even what kind of parent you ought to be and how you should love and raise your children.
If for a second you open up yourself to believing everything that passes from the mouth of someone else into your psyche without TRULY knowing who you are then you stand a chance to take on false responsibility and perceptions.
They say today is the “official” day of love and everything around you would lead you to believe that it is. There are teddy bears everywhere, chocolates in abundance, roses by the dozens and the world is painted red. I’ve even heard sales folk say “If you don’t have a valentine, love yourself and buy something to show it..” But what does that even mean?
Many people question if they are not good enough to be considered for a chocolate or a rose. A date at some nice restaurant even if only for one day. Truth is, if this season gives you all types of feels because of loneliness then you probably have a skewed outlook of what real love looks like.
What do I mean? I mean that the action of love or you being celebrated isn’t boxed into one man made day. I mean that your worth is far more deep seated that chocolates and roses even though these things are great! Who doesn’t love a box of Cadbury right? The point I want to drive home is that these things do not define you or love for that matter.
If for example, hubby may come home today without a rose but it doesn’t mean he loves you any less. And similarly if wifey wasn’t able to execute her plans as expected it shouldn’t dilute the love you have toward her.
Scoring a date for Valentines Day does not define you – especially if it’s some random person. What defines you is who God says you are, and He says you ARE loved with an everlasting love.
He says you are fearless and that you are covered.
This love isn’t a flower game of “he loves me, he loves me not”. There is no method of “by chance” in this love. This love is sure, secure and between you and God your creator. Picture God playing the melody of your life’s song, taking your hand as He waltzes you onto the dance floor of life.
This love has the capacity to set you free from past hurt and disappointment, to heal your soul hurts and erase harsh words from your memory.
This love knows no height, no depth, it has no limit and isn’t restricted by distance. This love is a covenant with a partner who ALWAYS answers your call (worship), replies to every message you send (prayer) and even shows up unexpectedly with surprises (blessings).
You receiving God’s love has very little to do with the works of your hands and a whole lot to do with the fact that He loves you – All you have to do to receive this love is ask for it. Imagine, being with a partner who understands everything about you, knows all your ins and outs and still chooses to be with you. You tell them your secrets and their ears never tire, their gaze never falters and their passion is always toward you.
For alot of you as you read that, you might have said that sounds a lot like your husband or wife which is great because we are called to love as Christ loves in are relationships here on earth.
This is the kind of love my Saviour Jesus Christ has given to me and He will give to you if you let Him. Truthfully, I didn’t have to be perfect, I just needed to be willing. I entered into covenant without fully knowing how the story would unfold. Initially I was unsure of myself, I was my biggest critic and worst nightmare.
Instead of patting myself on the back when I excelled, I searched for the things I messed up on and enlarged it to hang over my own head – have you ever done the same to yourself or to your partner or even your child? I know a lot of my reasoning behind it was because I didn’t have the right perspective of God and His love for me.
Growing up we receive love in different ways and this greatly impacts the way we perceive God and His kingdom. People often times give from what they have received and love looks like different things to different people.
Even though this maybe so, this isn’t to say that what you received wasn’t sufficient but it is to say that if that gift made you a feel a particular way you have a shot to change the tide now that you’re a mum or dad or a husband or wife. You have a chance to decide you’re going to connect to the true source and experience real love for yourself so that you can give it to a child, a partner or even a stranger you encounter.
One thing I have learnt about the love of Christ is that it is constant! It’s core doesn’t change though it may manifest itself in different ways. This love knows no bounds because its capacity is not influenced by the demands of earth.
A love of this nature is hard to reciprocate but it makes the difference in our relationships.
That was me, I said that WAS me because now, having endured hardships, loneliness, sore thumb-ness and being misunderstood I soon came to realize that Christ’s love for me made me complete. It moved me from the bay of misery and into the tide of full surrender to God’s will.
It hurt, I cried, I screamed, I shouted and got fed up with the process because I wanted to be loved by another. But until that void was filled up with the everlasting love of Christ I was hitting wall after wall, after wall. After all, we were created by love, for love, to love others.
Regardless of what the world justifies love looks like, as a believer we know that we have the true source right in our hearts. When we come into the revelation of who God has called us to be we realize that chocolates and roses aren’t so bad if they are presented and if they aren’t, we are still fully satisfied with the true source of love.
True satisfaction in Christ is what will change the dynamic of our relationships with our children, partners and family. It doesn’t matter where you came from or how you received love before. Each of us has a chance to change the tide for the generations to come simply by plugging into the right source.
All factors considered, I conclude by saying this, until you encounter Christ you won’t know what true love is and how it ought to be shared with others.
On this Valentine’s Day lets look a little deeper. Let’s look beyond the decorations and sales pitch and find the true meaning of love as we stand confidently knowing that He loves us deeply with the REAL, Uncut, Unfiltered, Genuine kind of love. No doubts or questions asked and this love is what will cause us to be better individuals, parents, and lovers to our partners.
Have you ever experience this real, uncut, true and unfiltered love that Shaquille talks about in her post? What did you think about the song? Go ahead get the conversation started and share your thoughts below.