Being a parent comes with its many challenges, I would imagine. The daily task of shepherding your children could take a toll. Let’s not forget maintaining a relationship with your significant other.
It’s so easy to be caught taking care of everyone, but sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. True?
When the flight attendant communicates the safety guidelines, one of their key instructions always stands out to me. Can you guess which one? When the oxygen masks are deployed, please put on your gas mask first. Then put on the gas mask of your dependent, essentially.
Did you get that? If you don’t take care of you, you will not be able to care for others, especially your immediate family. Now, personal development is essential for growth. It is not a quick fix method of course, but spending time on developing you as an individual has its benefits. Please note you are not being selfish for taking a little time out for you.
Before you had the responsibility of being a parent, it was just you, it was just you two. Before you got married, you spent a lot of time on you making sure you were a suitable mate for that one you would eventually share your life with.
Even, before your children came, you most likely read up a lot about parenting and the different stages a child will go through. In case you didn’t realise, that’s personal development. It does not have to stop when you become married. It does not certainly have to stop when your children are born.
"Please allow me to share my story; God gives good gifts!"
I was born with the ability to teach, train and equip. A quality I had despised for a long time. I saw it as something unessential and not significant. In fact, that was exactly how I saw myself; small, unimportant, unnecessary.
Many a time I had received prophecies, words of encouragement, dreams and visions, but I had a rough time accepting this is who I was. I wasn’t willing to accept that I am a gift and that He placed many gifts inside of me that this world needed.
I readily admired qualities in others, and hardly even considered looking at myself. I essentially rejected me and the very essence of my personality, in particular, that of compassion. I saw it as a weakness, but soon learned that this was a key quality the world needs this very day.
So how did I overcome this? As hard as it was for me, I had to let go the behaviour of false humility. I often thought I was not all that; I thought I was not that great and I was alright. We are taught as a society to not think out loud about ourselves, as it is a sign of pride. It is not.
I finally decided to be in agreement with what God said about me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am smart. I am intelligent. The day I realised how intelligent I was, my life changed in a moment. I always say you are what you think and the bible says whatsoever things are true, think on those things.
Renewing my mind greatly impacted my personal, social and business life. I thought more positively about myself, about who God made me to be. I was able to embrace the ideas and concepts He released to me for my business, which took my company brand to another level.
I sought less to compare myself to others and sought more to be who He made me to be. I no longer became disgusted with who I was, I loved who I was. Today I love who I am and because I love God and love who I am, I am able to love others with the love He has given me and that I have given myself.
Modelling this can transform generations after generations. We are all born with our unique identities. Do you want proof of our distinctiveness? Take a look at your fingerprint. No one in the world has your fingerprint. It is how you are easily identified. Families are diverse. No one is ever the same.
But having a healthy self-esteem does not make you arrogant, it helps you to be appreciative of who you are and gives you sense of identity. With a healthy perception of yourself, you are able to empower your spouse and your children. By appreciating their perspectives and ideas and contributions, it makes the family unit strong.
So choose to develop yourself personally – it could totally transform your family dynamic.
Go ahead, start the conversation and leave a comment below.
Melinda Belle is the visionary and founder of Astrape (As-strap-pay) Finance & Money Matter's with Melinda, the caring, knowledgeable, trustworthy, financial company guiding you to financial stability and prosperity through education, sound planning and advice. She firmly believes that the journey to financial soundness does not commence at the beginning of a year, it starts when you decide to take that path. The path to learning. A principle she expounds in her first book, “Winning with Your Money”. She provides 9 practical steps you can take to transform your finances. She recently launched the first of an educational series, “Lampy the Lighthouse: Earning & Spending”, where the company’s mascot, Lampy the Lighthouse carries children on a colouring adventure encouraging them to take an active role in managing their money.